Judge Dredd*

I haven't posted in a while. I know. I kept meaning to, but I worry that I don't have anything interesting to say. And I don't. So I figured I'd talk a little about being judgmental. I should just say it: Hello, my name is Pirate Monkey, and I am judgmental. I don't mean to be, it just slips into my thoughts! I read an article recently that mentioned how you look can affect your career. I know firsthand because I work in Human Resources; the person who is well-groomed and nicely dressed has a much better chance of being hired than the one in jeans and tennis shoes. The thing is, humans judge other humans based on looks a lot, and not just in the workplace. Psychological and Anthropological studies show that people have been judging each other for hundreds of millennium. And they were judging important life decisions like who would make a good mate and who can hunt for food and provide protection, not like today where I've decided that the kid with greasy hair probably smells bad even though he's 200 feet from me. I'll tell you that I judge people based on their clothing choice, hair style, car, what they put in their shopping cart...and all before they've uttered a single word. I don't intend to judge, it happens unconsciously. If you think it's just me, google 'psychology of appearance' and you'll see it's common for all humans to judge. I wish I could find my notes about a psychological study that showed humans judge other humans on seven things within the first 30 seconds of seeing one another. Big things like education, economic standing and religion. Check out this article and see that I really do mean it when I say we can't help it! What separates the quiet judgmental fools like me and the bigots of the world is the ability to stop a judgmental thought from seriously influencing your own actions and behavior. So what I'm saying is: I may think your hair is reminiscent of a bad 1970s porn star, but I don't care. I am fully aware that others judge me. (Yeah, I know it's easy to judge the chubby chick with the bag of m&ms in her cart...) My own personal goal with being judgmental is not to stop it (because that would go against 200,000 years of evolution in the human brain) but instead to recognize it for what it is and remember that others are doing the same thing. There is also nothing better then when someone I've made a judgment on totally knocks me down by doing or being the exact opposite. So I'm done with my little rant! I promise to post again soon!

* Yes I know I referenced a cheesy comic book character and even worse movie (which I love)...feel free to judge.

That'll Do Pig. That'll Do.

Despite my best efforts, (going to busy movie theaters, dining in public and such,) I have not yet contracted the Swine Flu. When I was five I caught the Taiwan Flu. When that had wiped my immune system I caught Strep Throat. Awesome. It was while my mother and I were visiting my grandmother in Ohio; I spent the entire two weeks bedridden and unable to keep even water down. Needless to say, Swine Flu (H1N1) doesn't scare me. If you want to stay healthy just wash your hands. If you want more info I recommend the best website ever (and my personal favorite,) the Centers for Disease Control. I also feel fairly relaxed because I had been passionate about becoming a microbiologist when I was a teenager. I poured over books about viruses and bacteria that make Swine Flu look like a pleasant stroll in the park. Viruses and bacteria that are right here in America. So bring it on Wine Flu. Give me your best shot. I can take it.

On other notes, HUF has officially packed her stuff and heads out to a future in Chicago tomorrow morning. I'm a touch depressed. On top of that, a lot of my friends have been down lately. I love them, but it's getting hard to stay positive. I have also decided to re-think offering my opinion and advice to people in general. My goal is to listen well but shut the hell up from there. Ultimately I don't think I give very good advice anyhow and my opinions are just that: opinions. I will always support my friends but I won't always support or be able to empathize with their choices. I don't think people should always blindly support others choices. It would make people superficial and boring. I like variety. Eh, this post is getting a little depressing, so I'm going to stop. And maybe watch a movie...

Celeb-u-stalker...

Well, I have caved once again to the draw of pointless, pulp-culture technology. Yes, I joined Twitter. If you're like me one month ago and have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, let me explain... Twitter is essentially the 'status' bar from Facebook and Myspace. So it would say: PirateMonkey is______ and I fill in the blank. Yep. That's all it is. The nice thing is that you can do it from your cell phone, (I know you can facebook from there too, but for the life of me I can't figure that out...) and get updates from friends who are on there too. It's nice for me because then I'm not the last to know when something exciting happens for one of my friends! In addition to adding people you know, celebrities also use Twitter. I am currently 'following' Nathan Fillion and Al Gore! (OMG Nathan Fillion just Twittered!) Twitter has given me a creepy little window into their lives and allows me to feel like they are communicating with me. (I do indeed know exactly how disturbing that sounds.) My friends that are on Twitter update often, which I like because I have unlimited text messaging on my cell phone plan. So I'm trying something new. I may get frustrated with it and quit in a month or I may become one of those people that Twitters every 10 minutes. It could go either way... If you're bored, or just mildly curious, follow me on Twitter at indianajones333. Awesome.

Revenge Of The Nerds!

Last weekend was Starfest. Starfest is the annual scifi convention held in Denver. Tens of thousands of nerds from a 500 mile radius converge upon a hapless hotel in full costume and consume massive amounts of booze while debating if 42 is indeed the answer to life and everything. It's one of the highlights of my year, and despite some drama this year, a good time was had by all. I haven't dressed up in years because I have a strict policy of 'go big or go home' when it comes to costuming. This year, however, I decided to embody the main female character from Big Trouble in Little China. It's always been one of my favorite movies. Who wouldn't love a John Carpenter movie starring Kurt Russell circa 1986?! So here is what I was going for:








And here's what I managed:











Yep. That's me and H in full costume. I also pulled out a little Dr. Horrible later that night for a sing-along.
I have to applaud my best friends for pulling of some seriously hot costumes as well...Dark Phoenix and Princess Leia. Oh, and in case you're wondering, (or just want to ogle the Leia costume some more,) she's got a blog! If you have me on your facebook, check out the photos there! The only real bummer was the asshat who stole my Canon G10 camera Friday night. There went $600 I'll NEVER see again! Sucktastic! Okay, I have a lot going on this week...I will try to post again this week!

Drop It LIke It's Hot?

I have a very vain problem. Super-vain actually. I should premise my problem with an explanation that I am on Myspace and Facebook all the time. No really, all the time. I try to check my e-mail at least once a day and usually pop onto those sites to check how my friends are doing. I use facebook a lot more than myspace, though I have more 'friends' on myspace. Still, lately I've noticed that people drop me from their myspace. The problem I am having is that I have no idea who has dropped me. I keep telling myself to write down all of the friends so I can figure it out next time it happens, and I never do. Sometimes I can figure it out, but other times I'm at a loss. Like today. I logged in and found that 112 friends had become 111. I've reviewed the list several times and I still can't figure out who's gone! That's pretty vain right? I thought so. (And my diamond shoes are too tight!) Alright, I'm going to go and mull over the missing friend again...

Dhoom-ed

I'm torn on the whole Slumdog Millionaire hype. The thing is, I love Bollywood. If you need some reasons to love Bollywood along with me, how about this:










or this:










Nothing? How about:










And:






If you're still not on board for all things Bollywood, then you are beyond help. But back to Slumdog Millionaire. I am totally supportive on the amazing Bollywood actors getting recognition for the largest movie-making industry in the world. To be a successful Bollywood star you must be able to act, sing and dance. The triple threat. My problem with Slumdog Millionaire is that it isn't really Bollywood. The only musical number is at the end as an homage to Bollywood. Truthfully though, I'm just being really selfish in wanting to like Bollywood as part of a small, exclusive fan base here in the States. I'm like those snarky emo kids who listen to bands with stupid names and never wash their hair. Except I smell better. I'll readily admit that I'm snobby about my Mumbai cinema. Until I see names like Hrithik Roshan and Kareena Kapoor up on the screen at the local AMC, I'm not jumping on board the Slumdog train. It can be a fine Hollywood movie all on its own. So we'll have to wait and see if the Bollywood craze takes over or not.
Oh, and HF has started a blog. Go see what she has to say HERE!

I Could Prove God Statistically

I had a funny conversation with TOT the other day, which lead me to rant a little on a subject that I'm sure no one else is getting all panty-twisty about. I hate statistics. No really, I loath them. It has nothing to do with the math part or the basics in understanding them. I hate that they mean nothing but people use them to prove their own points and other simply take them as fact. Statistics are not facts. They are guesses. Not even good guesses. Statistics can be bent and twisted to fit any personal agenda and can never be fully proven. Like God. Take for example, the statistic that you are more likely to be eaten alive by sharks than killed in an airplane crash: Tell that to the guy who commutes weekly by plane from one land-locked state to another. Or the professional diver who has never flown. In order for that statistic to be valid in any way all people would have to be equally exposed to sharks and airplanes and any given flight would have to be affected by things like people who are bleeding on board or the current hunger level of the plane. Another statistic I can't stand? A woman is sexually assaulted every two minutes. Now before you go thinking that I support something like rape (it's evil, no argument there,) let me explain...I have no issue raising awareness about protecting yourself as a woman and having basic life-saving skills, my issue is with the statistic. It's not like all the perverts of the world have synchronized their watches and wait their turn to molest someone. The statistic doesn't mention that you are more likely to be drugged and attacked if you drink something you were given by a stranger or that it may be the same woman being repeatedly assaulted by the same person. The way this particular statistic has been presented I would expect that every man is a rapist and I need to start carrying a gun. Or two. I dislike how people take a statistic and make it apply to all people. Statistically speaking, single mothers are poor. Untrue. Would it surprise you to know that only 28% live in poverty? I was raised by a single mother, yet never saw poverty in my home. We never applied for government assistance and my mother only worked one job. Of course, stories like mine don't make interesting news. TOT recently posted a statistic on Facebook about how 85% of couples who live together before marriage get divorced. (I think she posted it because people give her crap for waiting until marriage to live with her true love. I'm all for whatever makes her happy!) I tried to look up the statistic but I couldn't find it! I also couldn't find one that told me how many couples that waited until after marriage to co-habitat eventually get divorced. It's just another statistic that doesn't include any factual data! How were the couples doing financially (the number two reason for divorce,) what was their relationship history like and could there have possibly been any outside factors that affected the marriage? Here's a statistic I can support: 100% of people who put all their faith in statistics are douchebags.
I think statistics are just clever ways of saying that you don't know something. Maybe, just maybe, people can't be boiled down to a number or conveniently shoved into a group. Maybe I just like to believe that we have more potential than that.